Well, Christmas came and went. Again.
Everyone remained relatively healthy (toddler got a cold, but nothing crazy). No one got injured or seriously ill. My husband put in many hours of work and elbow grease to build a truly masterful drafting table for our preteen to pursue his art. We genuinely enjoyed multiple hours hanging with extended family. My 15 month old finally started walking for real. The weather was unusually beautiful and warm. My husband’s brother graduated college. So many wonderful things happened!
But…
You don’t realize how much work goes into the holidays until you’re a parent. And honestly, I didn’t even do that much this year. We didn’t even have a tree and my mother-in-law made the food. But somehow, everything still seemed to add up. One of the hardest tasks is just showing up to events, all while managing cold weather gear, food, and naps. I also took my toddler to his 15 month checkup, and apparently he’s a little behind on some things. My husband and I immediately changed some routines at home to get him back up to speed on his milestones, but this was a few days before Christmas so the stress around the holiday skyrocketed and I just constantly felt like a failure as a parent.
Around this time of year, it’s really hard to figure out the whole “balanced life” thing. Schedules are full and days are short. The early arrival of night feels so defeating when you’ve spent the whole day trying to get stuff done so you can get outside. I really can’t wait for summer to arrive. How do we cherish the time we have and avoid wishing away the less desirable times?
I don’t know the answer to that question. I do know that I have plenty to be thankful for and I have a beautiful family. I wish I could be more present and more “at peace” for them, but most of the time I feel stressed and anxious. I think this is a common “mom-experience.” We want the best for our family, but that often translates into worry. Honestly, this is how our species has survived this long. Anxious moms kept babies alive. So before we moms overly self-flagellate for not just “chilling,” it is important to remember that this is an adaptation that is beneficial in moderation. We are experts in planning and protecting. That being said, all good things can become negative in excess.
I’m starting to wonder if the secret really is to take everything one day at a time (cliche, I know). Some things have to be planned ahead of time, sure. But most things are one day at a time. We can also build in daily habits that pay off in the long run but only require today’s context and brain power. As I get older, I am increasingly appreciating the concept of building in habit-forming practices to our family (and personal) routines. After we make the decision of what the end-goal is, we can add a small task to our routine that becomes a habit and pays off over time. The daily mental load of performing the small task is minimal compared to the long term payout (but day-to-day, I don’t have to think or stress about the long term payout).
I also am convinced that social media algorithms are utterly toxic and almost irredeemable. I found value to some parent groups when my son was an infant and it was hard to go to physical support groups, but now I have almost no use for social media other than remaining connected with family and friends. There is always the “comparison crisis.” You see everyone else’s “perfect” life and wonder why yours isn’t perfect. Of course, no one’s life is perfect, and these are all carefully crafted facades. You know this intuitively because the last time you posted a “perfect” picture, there were about 100 (1000?) un-perfect things going on before and after that photo. No one else is different. Also, can anyone else relate with me on the negative bias of the Facebook reels? They can be funny and even sometimes positive, but as an aggregate they trend negative. I still get so many reels about negative childbirth experiences and postpartum and mom drama and wars of the sexes. Enough, Facebook. I want to be happy.
So, I guess I need to delete Facebook for my own mental health (and maybe everyone else does, too). At this point, I should be able to stay connected to my family in other ways. It sucks because most people now don’t really “reach out.” They just post their lives on Facebook as a PSA and call it good. I’ve been trying to text family more often, but I do also connect with them through Facebook and Messenger. Maybe the real “meaning crisis” is just our lack of communication and community and the ways that we have outsourced these two pillars to social media giants. The irony is that I will post a link to this blog post on my Facebook to expand reach.
I am overwhelmingly grateful for my family and friends and all of the support that they have offered us this year. I hope that we have reciprocated enough. As the New Year rolls around, I will hopefully be posting more on CyberMom. I’m sorry that 2025 was a bit of a bum year for posts, but I will be making a stronger effort in 2026. I am currently working on a pretty research-intensive article about arsenic in baby food (TLDR: Avoid anything with rice/rice flour/rice products). It’s been a work in progress since the summer, so it’s time to get it finished and published. I’m hoping to pair it with a convenient app for parents, as well (the fun part). I also want to discuss some postpartum issues that affect a lot of moms but polite society isn’t really comfortable discussing (ahem, pelvic floor). I went through my own journey this past year with pelvic floor problems. I tried to get help through physical therapy and doctors. Some stuff worked and some stuff just didn’t seem to do much. I would like to be open and honest about this journey so that other moms don’t feel alone. I also want moms to know that it’s ok to feel really upset when they get unexpected diagnoses.
So, I guess I’m promising a lot for 2026. Oops, probably shooting myself in the foot. Oh well…
Momsters, how was your Christmas this year? What are you looking forward to in 2026? What are you dreading? Fill the comments section. Love to hear from ya 😉
Brielle
Photo by Jack Lawford